Solving the Parking Crisis

Why not limit who can attend the council spectacles to those who actually influence the perennially present governance? And since those are special interest groups, they can be readily represented by a few people that can effortlessly park in the city-only parking spaces.

For example, the realtors’ association would send one flipper, the restaurant association would send some “restaurateur”, MICA their usual suspect, the syndicate would send their predictable characters (two for these folks since they are ultra-special), the Marriott, Hyatt and QE each get their one rep, the lawyers representing “clients” with matters in front of the council naturally get in, Chamber of Commerce members actually get valet parking and the enforcers must attend (you know, these seemingly imaginary people that vandalize the property of those who disagree with the council and are never identified by the localized policia) just in case some regular citizen walks over, sneaks in and has the temerity to disagree publicly.

The rest of us brave enough can simply watch on the cable channel and yell at the TV as catharsis – with the same results as if we were speaking to the council in person.

And besides, you must do you part by not driving in order to save the earth from the global warming caused by the plethora of mid-sized American cars made in Mexico and the whale-sized “flex fuel” SUVs that are nothing more than Panzer tanks running on the ethanol that requires nearly twice as much energy to produce as it takes to produce an equivalent amount of gasoline and does far more serious damage to the atmosphere notwithstanding that third-world countries are suffering from the dearth of food being diverted to manufacturing the sham biofuel and therefore enabling the owners of these “environmentally friendly” Madison Avenue abominations to feel good about themselves, for after all it is about them, as they careen down the roads at 100MPH while ranting on their new cell phones about the stupid moron that volunteers his time to coach their spoiled progeny while making their customary and obligatory visit to the confectionery and pay $12 for a super-sized organic recycled paper cup filled with the low-calorie triple-lard cinnamon-almond artificially flavored latte with shaved chocolate sprinkled on top of the foamed cream that is just below the bulbous lid that supports the straw with the girth of a garden hose.

This approach will avoid yet another confrontation with yet another alienated citizen that made the mistake of offering/giving/attempting to help THIS “community”. And we can all save the earth.