Latest Candidate Non Poll Results

While we wait (and wait) for our illustrious investigative arm of local law enforcement to issue its finding (don’t hold your breath) as to which political action hate group incited the vandalism on a resident’s property after said resident arguably went too far in exercising his free speech rights by purportedly threatening a councilperson (reminder: screaming “FIRE” in a crowded theater is not protected free speech), let’s report purely for entertainment purposes, and thereby serve to lower the level of tension, the conjured results from the most recent candidate contest.

The novel and feigned polling was posited to one voter thus: if you had 2,000 votes to vote on each candidate based on membership in your PAC and your affiliation thereof, how would you apply 2,000 votes to each candidate?

The results are:(click on image to enlarge)

Upon tallying the results, the voter was made aware that the first six “candidates” are not on the ballot, and that assigning negative votes is something only done in certain Latin America countries which presently Marco Island is not yet a part of one, to which the voter responded “So what’s the problem?”

We see the voter's point.