Billing for Services
To that end, the following is the hypothetical monthly bill that each resident will receive if the present governance has their way:
Monthly Combined Utility & Tax Bill
(Prototype)
$25.00
Water - Reuse
$0.00
Water - Drinking (Not from City Water)
$9.00
Sewage
$25.00
Sewage Treatment Plant Repair
$9.00
Sewage Treatment Plant Upgrade
$87.33
Sewage Treatment Plant Deep Injection Well # 45
$22.80
Beach Cleanup from Deep Injection Wells Suffusing Aquifer w/Contaminated Water Fund
$18.22
Reimbursement to Fortune 500 Hotel Chains for Loss of Business due to Beach Cleanup from Deep Injection Wells Suffusing Aquifer w/Contaminated Water
$109.67
Lease Payments for Fleet of Sewage Lift-Station Pumping Trucks
$99.20
Bond Interest Payments on Completed Phases of STRP
$45.00
Compensation to Family of Jorge Viera for being killed Implementing STRP
$0.00
Reimbursement to Contractor that Paid OSHA Fine Regarding Jorge Viera being killed Implementing STRP
$1.00
(not subject to "Cap")
$14.75
Parks & Recreation
$1.25
Public Information Department (City-Wide Subscription to Naples Daily News)
$.50
Former City Manager Never-Ending Departure Compensation Package
$9.20
Police Chief Never-Ending Job Search Assistance Fund
$2.55
Police Chief Marital Issues Support Fund
$.60
Former Councilpersons Legal Defense Fund
$1.60
Jolley Bridge Toll - Supplemental Expenses
$1.90
Contractor Asbestos Cleanup Reimbursement
$45.80
"Marco Man" - Ray Charles Visual Art Appreciation Award
$1.40
Attorneys Fees: Hydrogen Sulfide Class Action Lawsuit
$809.09
"Teen" Center
$3.45
"Pre-Teen" Center
$1.20
"Post-Teen" Center
$2.00
"Post-Mortem" Center
$56.99
Stipend for resurrected Political Action Committee to hold more Hate Rallies (with wine and cheese)
$.80
Dog Defecation Monitoring Department
$.44
STRP Economic Impact Reimbursement Plan for Businesses
$2,909.55
STRP Economic Impact Reimbursement Plan for Residents
$0.00
2 Comments:
That is the best laugh
(albeit on we the residents) that I've had all year. Thanks!! That was just priceless!
By Anonymous, at Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:38:00 PM
forgot a couple (thanks to readers)
*Bond Payment to Repay Legal Fees Defending Frivolous Lawsuits
$23.66
*119 Department (a new department to process the avalanche of past and forthcoming 119 requests)
$6.08
By Daring to Speak, at Friday, November 30, 2007 11:26:00 AM
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