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Sunday, December 02, 2007

Project StupidScape

From the-you-can’t-make-this-up category, the present governance under the misnomer of Project Greenscape is considering yet another regulation by which to regulate … landscapers.

And you would think given the makeup of the majority mindset in the present governance, the regulation would seek to ensure that those fine folks that take care of our yards are legally in this country. For after all, the mindset comes from the Mrs. Kline School of Racial Tolerance. Mrs. Kline (played by Betty White) was asked how she knew two Hispanics were casing the neighborhood, to which she replied “Because they weren’t carrying leaf blowers.”

But no, because pursuing such inanity as emphasizing federal laws is alien to Marco Island. Besides, if we demanded proof of legal residency from landscape employees, the residents on Marco will run the risk of having to figure out how to use this odd and arcane mechanized device called a lawnmower.

So what is it that the present governance is trying to regulate? Who knows, but one of the options to becoming certified is to take a class from (ready for this?) from the FDEP!

What a inspired idea - take a class from the same goofball inept organization that sanctions the contamination of our waterways, that authorizes toxic gas to be introduced into the air thereby harming scores of people, and that sends cease and desist letters which are summarily ignored. Perfect.

If we require that landscape contractors take a class from the FDEP, the next thing that will happen is that the landscapers will be aerially dispersing Agent Orange as a weed killer, Mustard Gas as an insect repellent and asbestos as mulch.

Oops, sorry about the last one – we already have that – from another City of Marco Island approved regulated contractor.

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