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Sunday, April 08, 2007

The Post Mortem Defense

Contrived by: The present governance of the City of Marco Island

Definition by Examples:

  • An example from just this week. Some time ago the city manager and the ever-job-hunting chief of police accuse citizens of planting asbestos. This week, in light of the FBI investigating the alleged city investigation as to who really placed the asbestos, the perennially-interviewing-for-another-job police chief states (and we are not making this up) “We may have found things out since then showing that maybe that assumption is incorrect.”
  • The City Manager and the former City Attorney appear to violate the Voting Rights Act by intimidating voters that signed the recall petition. The city council calls an emergency meeting assuring the voters that they will not be prosecuted or have to pay any costs associated with the city’s lawsuit against the citizen and thereby correcting any “misunderstanding”.
  • Present and former city councilors, the city manager and others are being investigated for Sunshine Law violations. The city council backs the city manager’s claim that by simply discussing AFTERWARDS the subject of the emails that are the subject of the criminal investigation, the matter is “cured” and crimes were not committed.

Formal Definition:

  • A statement or act that attempts to negate or otherwise obviate a misdeed or wrongdoing ONLY after said misdeed or wrongdoing has garnered the attention of real law enforcement agencies.

CAUTION: Do no try this defense yourself. Only applies to present city employees and present city council persons.


Coming Soon:

  • The Nonsense Defense: Upon arrest, the arrestee shouts to the media "THIS IS NONSENSE!"
  • The Plausible Denialbility Defense: “Hey, we are just the city council and we have no idea what the city manager does or doesn’t do or should do so we just do what he tells us hence we are not liable.”
  • Law Enforcement By Assumptions: See the above quote by the interview-hopping police chief.

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