Top Ten Reasons Council Denies Horse-Drawn Tours

1. Despite their ignorance of what genuinely draws tourist to an area, the city council asked "Tour of exactly what?"
   
2. Wanted to avoid confusing the citizenry because they would not be able to distinguish between the city council and the back end of the horses
   
3. Fear that the horses would drop dead as they trot by the purportedly decontaminated asbestos dump sites
   
4. Didn't want fermenting horse urine and horse feces to compete against the last time the city council approved the pumping of toxic effluent onto the streets/swales/waterways (STRP)
   
5. The company proposing the horse-drawn tours is not affiliated with the syndicate
   
6. There is no public works director claiming that the city has a permit allowing noxious effluent to be deposited on streets/swales/waterways
   
7. Someone was astute enough to ask if the horses would also eat at the local "restaurants"
   
8. After spending another $100,000 on legal fees researching the U.S. Code, the U.S. Tax Code, the U.N. Charter, the Florida Statutes, the International Criminal Court at the Hague and the EPA database on contaminants – akin to the $100,000 spent on lawyers spinning the asbestos contamination and violation of the Clean Water Act – the city "staff" determined that solar panels could not be mounted on the horses so the "power generating" scam proposed by the syndicate in the past could be re-introduced because as the panels would have fried the eagle and the eaglets on Tract K, these solar panels would have not only fried the horses but the tourists siting behind them given that the panels would have ignited the combustible horse flatulence
   
9. Fear that local retirees from New Jersey and Chicago would start wagering on the horses
   
10. The MIPD objected because of the traffic hazard that would be created when the horse-drawn carriages would pass the slower-traveling Lincoln Continentals driven by the typical octogenarian resident