The Confounded (Winterberry) Bridge

Only on Marco Island. And here we go again.

The city “government” desirous of maintaining the pattern of doing things based on what the voters don’t want, approves $4.5 million to repair the bridge – presumably after having done an extensive engineering study and checking with the usual suspects (like the U.S. Coast Guard). Not.

So the Coast Guard rows into town and after speaking with – get this – the property owners whose property value will increase dramatically by having a taller bridge – require, or otherwise document, that the city approved plans are inadequate, and the bridge needs to be raised by FIVE INCHES.

Here are the numbers: Five properties have to be condemned and eleven property owners were interviewed by the U.S. Coast Guard.

For those 11 property owners who are so heinously selfish, a question: what is the value differential between boats that vary by FIVE INCHES?

The FIVE INCHES will change the $4.5 million budget to repair the bridge by merely $15.5 million – to $20 million. Assuredly, this new budget amount was also derived after an extensive engineering study and checking with the usual suspects (maybe this time like with the U.S. Navy). Not.

It seems like, from rumor control of course since the engineering study that determined the new budget of $20 million is … where? … the super price tag is due to the requirement that the surrounding properties to the bridge have to be purchased in order to afford the ramp-up space. The property owners whose properties need to be purchased would not happen to be the same egocentric folks that spoke to the U.S. Coast Guard, would it?

Greed, greed, greed. Why couldn’t these property owners have sold their properties the old fashion way – by listing them with a local realtor who will do nothing more than wait for the phone to ring – you know, just like the rest of us.

Here are some predictions - suggestions – ideas:

• The $20 million new bridge will be contracted for despite citizen opposition.
• Yet another citizen’s group will sue the city.
• Have the U.S. Coast Guard pay for the bridge.
• Have Starbucks pay for the bridge so they can have a Starbucks on each end of the new bridge.
• For the city council – and the ultimate irony for the 5 homeowners that will cost us millions – since the of law eminent domain has been prostituted beyond comprehension by the prostitutes sitting (hiding) behind benches (and not the ones in the parks), the city should steal – eh, invoke eminent domain – on those 5 properties and pay each owner the value as denoted on the tax roles – not the market value.
• And yet another novel idea for the city – try checking with everyone and doing a study before guessing at a number to do something.
• And yet another novel idea for the city – have the 11 property owners that want the taller bridge pay for it – as opposed to having the it paid by the15,000 property owners that don’t want it.

Let’s see how this one gets spun …